Letting Them See Me Cry

2020! What a year…and it’s not done yet. The highs, the lows and so many firsts, including the first (and probably now second, third….) time my kids have really seen me cry.

I’m the mom with the schedule and lists, always with a plan. I’m the mom that hovers, hugs and holds hands. I’m also the mom that yells, lectures and opens doors without knocking (hey, it’s all about balance). But I’ve never been the mom to openly cry. “Not in front of the children,” “Suck it up, can’t let them think mom doesn’t have everything under control.” But you know, all of that has gone out the window in this age of Covid. John 11:35 says “Jesus wept,” the shortest and probably one of the most transparent verses in the Bible. In other words, Jesus grieved and felt deeply the loss of his friend. Over the past few months I’ve grieved deeply the loss of my grandmother, the loss of time, the loss of connections and the loss of some of life as it was. And my kids have silently watched my tears…it’s been weird, it’s been awkward, they’ve asked questions, we talk, we process and life keeps moving.

But the tears I shed are not without hope. Hope for the seeds I see sprouting to life. Seeds of renewed connection and relationship. Seeds of clarity and purpose. Seeds of assurance and unwavering peace. My tears are shed trusting in the One who is Hope.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, and whose hope is the LORD.” -Jeremiah 17:7

So, yes, I cry but I have hope and I keep going. Let’s keep hope alive, friends.

“As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise You more and more.”- Psalm 71:14

(Quote photo from www.askideas.com; Scripture photo from Kendrick Home)